By Sara Chehab | Staff Writer
“Kefak Inta?” The famous Fairouz song that most Lebanese unconsciously sing when they hear the word “Kefak” – a Lebanese reflex. Another reflex is when we automatically answer “Ça Va/ Lhamdella / Mnoshkr Allah,” and so forth. In the past five years or so, our country faced all types of disasters: COVID 19, the Beirut port explosion, the collapse of its economic sector, ongoing political uncertainty, and, last but not least, the 2024 war. When reflecting on the mentioned events that happened in a very short period of time, the question takes on a different weight. Kefkon? A self-check-in is needed.
My friend, Samar Rahme, is the one who introduced this wellbeing exercise to our friend group. Samar is a psychologist with over 24 years of experience in special education and mental health. She has been at the frontline supporting our health workers’ wellbeing throughout the recent war. As she explains it, a check-in with yourself is very similar to a reflection process. It gives you the time and space to think, understand, and absorb the situation before situations control you. It gives you the ability to hit the PAUSE button before the situation hits you emotionally and drains you. Let us start.
Identify your parts! Each one of us has multiple roles and diverse experiences. We all have a number of “titles” which increases as we move forward with our lives. We are sons, daughters, siblings, cousins, AUB students, professionals, Lebanese, and so much more. I am a daughter of someone, but my experience differs from other daughters around me. Each title has its own weight. It exposes us to situations, experiences, commitments, challenges, and values. These titles, or different parts of our identities, collide, sometimes leading to internal conflicts, but also fueling our steps forward.
Time for a Check-In with Yourself! Sit in a relaxing space, take a deep breath, let your body loose, and ask yourself the following:
– How do I feel right now? Which emotion is the dominant one, and which part of you is expressing it more strongly to make it seen?
– What is happening around me? Take a step backward and acknowledge the experiences that took place in the past few years. Reflect on your goals, aspirations, challenges, and so on.
– Now, I should remember a situation in which I felt content about myself. It reflects the actual “ME” that made me proud and fulfilled. Recall the action steps that you did, the people that were around you, and the causes that made you experience such feelings.
A self-check-in is an opportunity to recognize situations that have deeply impacted you and not allow them to constrain you. It is a MINDFUL activity focused on your current surroundings. We all get “stuck” somewhere in our past or the ideas in our head. A self-check-in keeps you grounded and helps you balance the relation between past emotions and the current materialistic world you are in. This check-in can be done on a daily basis or right after an intense situation you face. It is an insightful perspective to realize some triggers cause anger, fear, or pride and joy. The main goal is not to be consumed by this trigger and to separate these emotions from your actual self.
Let us end this article on a positive note with a Gratitude Tree Exercise. On a piece of paper, draw a stem of a tree. This stem represents you, and what goes through it is all the nurture, support, and needs for your growth. Then, draw as many branches as you want – these reflect different experiences, whether positive or negative, such as graduation, accidents, achievements, and so forth. Now, there might be some branches that you wish to remove from your tree. Let them fall on the ground or let the wind remove them. You will end up with branches that put a smile on your face mirroring beautiful moments in your life. At the bottom, let us draw the roots. These roots represent the nutrients that kept you going until now. These roots might include the names of your teacher, friend, family members, organizations, and so forth. They keep you strong and are the source of your power. Connect, call, or send a message to these people appreciating their support. If your pet is one of these roots, you could reward them with lots of treats!
Gratitude rewires your brain, allowing you to have a holistic perspective on life. It separates the overwhelming pain to rearrange relationships and good experiences. It is a mental and physical reboot. We can’t change the circumstances, but we can’t allow our negative experiences to overshadow our blessings either. A final note from Samar is to always invest in YOURSELF. Lead your life with awareness, growth, and be compassionate with yourself.