By Mariah Chirvanian
The conversation about the appropriate and inappropriate usage of gender pronouns is a painful reflection of the ongoing fight for tolerance, acceptance, and recognition in our diverse and dynamic world, especially in light of the constantly changing language and social conventions. The use of diverse pronouns, even by a single person, has gained popularity throughout recent decades, mainly among the LGBTQ+ community. With the continuous development of the world and the acceptance and validation of various mentalities, many people have courageously come forward with different pronouns, identifying themselves as a different gender than the one assigned at birth. However, the popularization of gender pronouns has led some people to believe this is all part of a “trend” young people are following, for various reasons. In this article, we will explain the use of gender pronouns, and we will tackle different opinions on the matter.
“She/Her”, “He/Him”, “They/Them” are all examples of standard homogeneous pronouns used. One can use the pronouns of the gender assigned to them at birth. However, it is far from uncommon to find people using heterogeneous pronouns, like “She/They”, for example, or pronouns different from the ones associated with the gender assigned at birth. So, without further ado, let us explore a part of the wide world of genders and pronouns.
“Them” pronouns are widely used for gender neutral matters, especially the singular “They” which has been present for centuries but has only gained popularity and acceptance not too long ago. We can consider the use of “They” instead of “He” to refer to a person in studies and papers, or even in our everyday dialect, a feminist movement. Some even use “They/Them” (or other gender neutral pronouns like “Xe” or “Hir”, but our focus in this article will not be on the aforementioned pronouns) because they do not identify as either male, female, or any other gender.
I knew a person who, at some point in his life, identified as non-binary and used “They/Them” pronouns. He then proceeded to change to “He/Him” and therefore identifying as a trans-man. This is an example of the use of gender neutral pronouns by a transitioning person who was not ready to identify as trans yet. For other people, being non-binary is not a phase, it is part of their identity and therefore will be indefinite.
Another common use of pronouns is the heterogeneous mix mentioned above. Some people use “She/They”, others “He/They”, and others have even started using “He/She/They” as their pronouns. While it is important to note that just because “She” and “He” pronouns would refer to females and males if we abide by societal rules, I have grown to realize that not every person who identifies as a woman uses “She”, and the opposite is also correct. This might seem confusing to some, but this is why we explained this concept to be able to dive deeper into the case where a single person uses all three of the mentioned pronouns. Personally, I have spoken with a person who considered gender a spectrum and used to ask their friends to utilize the correct pronouns when speaking to or about them differently everyday depending on how they were feeling that day. I myself was confused about this, so I asked them what gender they identify as. This is the point in my life where I learned what “pangender” or “gender fluid” means: it is a person who is not limited to one single gender, but encompasses a range of gender identities.
However, debates have risen about the validity of the use of pronouns which differ to the ones of the sex assigned at birth, and people with different opinions have expressed their confusion and questioned this phenomenon. As mentioned before, the expression of oneself through pronouns has gained popularity and recognition during recent years, and since then, a large number of people have started to identify as different genders, but do all these people really need to use different pronouns, or are they doing so to follow a trend? To feel accepted among their peers? The community they are living in? Some have even called this “too much” and pointed out how there are “feminine” people who use “He” pronouns and “masculine” people who use “She” pronouns (in this example, feminine and masculine refer to the basic definition of them according to societal norms, which we are trying to break free from). This so-called “trend” is actually preventing people who actually need to use different pronouns from being taken seriously (according to the people who are objecting to this), without being aware of this, and it is being widely encouraged to be more careful with the use of pronouns (and not banning them completely).
It is obvious that the understanding and acceptance of these changes is a slow process which will take a lot of time. Gender pronouns are, at the end of the day, one more way to express ourselves. It is still a very delicate topic which holds a lot of controversy, especially when it comes to the LGBTQ+ community (the trans community in particular) and the acceptance of it among today’s society.
To end this article, freedom of speech is important and the expression of opinions is also important, but not at the expense of invalidating someone’s experience, feelings, or how they express themselves. At the end of the day, even if there are people that think some people use different pronouns when they don’t need to, it is still wrong to judge based on appearances. I do support the more careful use of pronouns though, out of respect for the trans community and people struggling with their gender identity.