By Jana Zoghbi | Staff Writer
I want to preface this by saying that this article’s aim is to raise awareness, and not to shame individuals. Porn addiction is a serious issue that affects one’s life in every aspect, and sex workers are human beings that deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.
However, porn in all its forms, is a topic that needs to be addressed and openly talked about to remove the stigma, which will help us construct a healthier relationship with it.
As we have seen on our feeds, soft porn is abundantly present on all social media platforms mainly due to the surge of popularity of Only Fans. Granted, your following list impacts the posts you see, but the highly sexually graphic ads that are posted by meme pages can testify to the validity of the previous statement.
Now whether you’re in a monogamous relationship yourself, or just a casual scroller on social media, you must have scrolled past a similar narrative. One of the partners follows/likes provocative posts published by sex worker or Instagram models. The other person feels insecure and hurt by this behavior and doesn’t understand the reason behind it. Both sides believe that they are in the right, but what are the facts?
Following such accounts entails that (presumably soft) porn will be consumed daily through posts and stories. As mentioned previously, this is mainly done to promote their more explicit content on Only Fans. And more often than not, the consumption of soft porn will lead to the consumption of traditional porn.
This type of situation is different for every couple: some might care, others don’t, and some might even be in an open relationship because that is what their heart desires.
However, what should be a common characteristic amongst all these situations is that they should be built on open and honest communication. All partners involved should discuss and maintain their boundaries. What you owe to yourself is to stick to your boundaries and not be swayed by manipulative behaviors and phrases such as “get over yourself, everyone does it, you’re crazy.”
While there isn’t a guideline that helps navigate such situations, this is what relationship experts and researchers have to say:
Every time provocative posts appear on one’s feed, the person consuming this content will lead to an instant Dopamine pay-off. Since this is a daily reoccurrence, it might create a false impression of what a normal body looks like.
Moreover, excessive porn consumption can impact sexual function and satisfaction which will negatively both partners and their overall relationship.
Additionally, we must keep in mind that the sexual acts in porn are more similar to acting than actual sexual intercourse. And since everything is one click away, it is easy to explore different types such as BDSM and roleplaying. While such acts may spice up your relationship, pornography does not capture the most important element: consent.
This is why it is so important to do your own research and not fall for the actions that you see. Safe words, consent, and setting boundaries are the non-glamourous elements that build the foundation for a safe and pleasurable night.
When your significant other does not engage in such open conversations and continuously disregards your boundaries it is often a sign of emotional immaturity and lack of respect towards you.
Every couple must discuss their boundaries so that both partners feel comfortable and that they’re being heard.
And if you’re single, or simply disagree, keep in mind that the porn industry has often mistreated its workers and is often labeled as a hard and cruel industry. What we can do, to be better and do better, is to consume ethically produced porn where the performers are respected. After all, it’s only one click away.
Amidst love season, take care of the relationship and your partner or simply just take care of yourself and your sexual health.