By Rahaf Al-Mawed | Contributing Writer
The pond dried itself for you
Your thirst grew greedy
The space became of vacancy
And what once reflected blue under the moonlight
Now bears green mold
You still sought my sweet flesh afterwards
I ponder if your fangs had turned it bitter over time
Your insides reflect on your body
Your nerves commanded mine
A ventriloquist’s dream
Outside the balcony
And towards the ward
The statues prayed
For no one blew life unto them
For their time will never come
But I know you
You would entrench your claws
Till the stone becomes flesh and bone
Till the stone runs soft
Till it becomes consumable
You chose my ghostly gown wisely
“My Godiva”
I am not.
I am the false vulture you turned me to be
And whenever your throat would dry
Absorbeo
My gown loses most of its fabric
Till I am left with what my creator had naturally given me
Abstergo
You built me a castle
An illusion that my world is titanic
But it keeps tightening and tightening
You were intentional
For you keep swallowing
And your gulps devour continents whole
You placed portraits
Women and their beloveds
With delight overtaking them
But their gowns were brittle
And white.
A master of ploy, you were
You told your brother
If he were to die
You would bury him in the finest dirt
Apparently, you have it in you
To learn the art of mortuary
How can death be the bereaved?
If the sun sets sooner
It would because sight is witness
And witness is complicity
You held all these lavish weddings
‘Masquerades’, you would correct me
When it was I who taught you the languages of the world.
Weddings.
Masquerades never ended with secret betrothals
In my city
That you stole from me
Angelus?
Your chords tore apart
And you started playing a different tune
That stained your wings
Yet I believe the holiest of angels
Would continue their sacred rituals
Even if their flight to God obfuscates
“My Apostolus”
I am not.
You took my voice
And then my reticence followed
Would it purport anything had your frontier of me not been a legacy of mine?
You masked yourself as the object of all desires
In those masquerades
Yet I knew deep inside
You were the subject
And the rest shalt follow
Their outlines were distinct
My sight never conceived a mirror
Blessed be the spirit that created me from clay
And not from stone
Melting only causes changes in form
In crumbling disintegration occurs
And I cease.
Yet your grip was a master of handling both
My love used to consist of stained glass
Which you surrounded me with
A sign of devotion
No
The beauty they once held had been captivated
They were as repugnant as what you had done to your subjects
Stained glass conceals like curtains drawn
So often
So wastefully
“My Anima”
I am not.
Had I been
You would have died with me
If I and your soul were one
Do you bear loathe towards yourself that much?
Cruentus
My maids were my only confidants
The spilled blood had to be washed away
So often
So wastefully
And you raised lethal flowers
Spread them over my plates
You called it dinner
And I took them in like the Gods drink their nectar
Rightfully
Because death is generous with its sentence
Death’s walls are greater than your skies.
You built a relationship with my trees
Overflowed them with water
They weren’t made of greed
You were.
My pomegranates and grapes bore rotten souls
Crimson and mulberry
Painted a hue of violet that darkened what was once my only chance of paradise
Dominatus
You granted yourself uncontrollably
As if I was not already of occupation to your sky
As if you permitted my residence to anything else
But my sky was just one of your many.
“My Dea”
I am.
And I have come to take what is rightfully mine.
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