Maria Chirvanian | Staff Writer
In the labyrinth of human desire, where societal expectations intersect with individual longing, the Madonna-Whore Complex stands as a poignant reminder of the complexities that entwine our perceptions of love, intimacy, and femininity. This complex is a psychoanalytic concept proposed by Sigmund Freud, which states that heterosexual men categorize women either as “Madonna” (which means mother): pure, chaste, and virtuous–or as “Whore”: seductive, sexually liberated, and promiscuous. While this is not applicable to all men, one cannot deny that a vast proportion of men around us do have this mentality. But why is it that when the men concerned in this paper are in love, they cannot think of the woman in question in a sexual matter? Is it really either love or sex?
Deciphering Madonna-Whore: Freud & Beyond
As aforementioned, Freud was the founder of this complex. Although he didn’t give it a specific name–the name “Madonna-Whore Complex” (MWC) was coined later on–he spoke about multiple phenomena related to the MWC, such as the well-known Oedipus complex (where Oedipus killed his father and married his mother), or castration anxiety, etc.
However, historical concepts are not of our interest here. So what does the MWC mean to us today?
The Madonna
Diving deep into the psychology behind the MWC, we can find that Freud described heterosexual men in relationships who did not find their romantic partner sexually attractive. Consequently, the deeper their romantic feelings were, the less they sexually desired their partners. Now here’s the twisted part: the mentioned phenomenon is due to men with MWC not being able to differentiate between the love they have for their partners, and the love they have for their mothers. This is mostly unknown to these men. After having spoken to some who manifest signs of having the complex, I have noticed that they think this experience is universal, that most men will not want to “touch” their romantic partners, by fear of “unpurifying” her, or, in other words, treating her as they have treated other women with whom they only had sexual relationships with. This is particularly present in men’s first romantic experiences. Sometimes, a man will perceive himself as incapable of romantic feelings, so he opts for purely sexual relationships instead, until he meets a woman he falls for. In the case where the MWC is manifested in the man’s mind – without his necessary knowledge – he will see her as a potential wife or mother, and will not see the woman under a sexual light, which will inevitably create problems on the long term. As a consequence, the woman might begin to feel undesired by the man she is seeing, which may stir up some problems.
The Whore
Opposite to the Madonna, the Whore is the object of a man’s sexual desire. The term “Whore” in this context does not have the same meaning as the one used to solely describe women who have multiple sexual partners – it does not necessarily have the same connotation as the insult used to shame these women. The Whore is the woman who is sexually liberated, the object of a man’s desires. Make no mistake, however: just because she is the woman who fulfills his desires and is completely sexually attracted to her doesn’t mean this doesn’t come at a price for her. She is often shamed for this exact thing, and this is the ambiguity that this complex presents: he desires her, but he also wants to devalue her.
The Story Behind the Cover Picture
The cover picture of this article is symbolic and implicit, to say the least. I chose it specifically so that the reader would ask themself, “Why was this picture specifically chosen? What does it represent?” Well, the blonde is Marilyn Monroe (left side) and the brunette is Jackie O. Kennedy (right side). Monroe allegedly had an affair with President John F. Kennedy during his presidency and while he was married to Jackie–to the point where Monroe sang “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” to JFK in the presence of his wife. This is a real-life depiction of the MWC, where both women represent either the Madonna or the Whore in Kennedy’s life. His affairs with both women illustrate the dichotomy of desire: Jackie Kennedy represents purity, stability, and social standing, while Marilyn Monroe was known for being the sex symbol of that time, each one of them fulfilling the Madonna and Whore archetypes, respectively.
“[Men] with MWC can only become fully sexually aroused when reducing their partner to a sexualized object, degrading her in the process because the “good girl” or the “Madonna” can’t be fully sexually desired.” (Brownlee, 2022). This quote says enough on its own. The sad reality of this phenomenon is that it brings out the two extremes: a woman is either loved and cherished, or she is the object of sexual pleasure, and while this might be a perfect representation of some men’s mentalities, it heavily reduces the multiple layers a heterosexual relationship may present, as well as puts forward aspects of sexism and the objectifying of women. It is essential to fight against ideologies which reduce a woman’s worth to mere stereotypes or narrow definitions of virtue and sexuality.
Sources:
https://www.modernintimacy.com/the-psychology-of-the-madonna-whore-complex/