By Yasmina Naja | Staff Writer
A plane went over our heads on a perfect day.
18th of February 2022
A perfect day
Those are very rare, even when you’re a dreamer that romanticizes every second of your life like me. I do everything in my power to have more of them, I crave them with an insatiable appetite. Those days where I feel like my life is a movie and everything happens smoothly and beautifully, those days made of honey and glass.
On the 18th of February 2022, I was having one of those days. I woke up in a wonderful mood; it was a slow sunny morning. I put on music, wore a fabulous outfit, and had a delicious breakfast. I devoured every moment of this golden morning and prayed that the whole day would be of this shade.
I went to university, studied on a bench under the shade of a tree with an adorable ginger cat on my lap that kept me warm and kept me company. I wished again that my heart would stay this warm all day. I then sat on a bench and enjoyed the view of the sea and the soft gossip of the birds. I know that sounds made up – my gut had a feeling something was off, but my full warm heart told my gut to shut up and enjoy that blessed day.
I then met up with my best friend, we went on a walk and enjoyed a golden sunset from my favorite spot, we talked and laughed and as I saw the sun kissing the sea, a loud sound coming from the sky froze me in place.
The sound of a military plane so close, so loud. I felt an overwhelming panic take over me. A cold sweat ran down my spine and my heart started shivering. Instead of running away from the window and to a safe space, I ran to the window to see what was happening. I had to see it with my own eyes, I couldn’t let what happened last time happen again, I had to know.
I couldn’t relive the panic of not knowing what was happening, praying that it was an earthquake and not a war and then being absolutely devastated by the life shattering news. I ran to the window and saw the plane going right above the building I was in. I faced it eye to eye, like a prey trying to assert any form of dominance, I didn’t take my eyes off of it until it was so far into the horizon that I couldn’t see or hear it anymore.
It was an Israeli military jet sent to scare us.
I was so disgusted I wanted to throw up. How dare they scare a whole country that’s still recovering from last time, from the 4th of August? How could they break the heart that I worked so hard on gluing back together? After it was shattered into a million pieces like the windows of my city? I cursed myself for ignoring my gut feeling, that day was indeed too good to be true, it was all a distraction, I had become temporarily blind to the pain of living in Lebanon, I got ready without electricity but I am so used to it doesn’t bother anymore, when it should, I got stuck in traffic on my way to university because there was a car crash on my way since the red lights don’t work anymore. I sat and studied outdoors in my university and not at home because I don’t have electricity or reliable internet at home. I got used to the mess, I normalized it and dared to wish for a perfect day while living on the rubble of what’s left of my country.
I forgot I’m from a generation that hopes not for perfect days, but days they can survive.