By Dunia Fakih | Staff Writer
Ladies, how many times have you had to fake an orgasm because you were nowhere near finishing, and if we’re being honest, it was getting quite boring? If this has happened to you, do yourself a favor and send this to your significant other, friend with benefits, your hookup, or even your friends, because we’re about to dive into the world of female pleasure and give you tips on how to guarantee your female partner has an orgasm.
- Ask for consent!
Before doing anything, ask if they’re comfortable. If your partner feels safe you’re both going to enjoy it a lot more! For any kind of relationship to work and be enjoyable – communication is key.
- Talk about it
Before diving in, it is important to acknowledge that we all have different needs and pleasures. Ask her if there’s anything you should know, what she enjoys, and more importantly what she doesn’t. Some girls have a hard time getting wet, some have a hard time climaxing, and some don’t climax at all for different reasons. There are a lot of medicines that kill your libido, like antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication, so don’t be afraid to ask beforehand. And ladies, don’t be shy! If you didn’t orgasm, be vocal about it, if you have any sexual desires that you would want to be fulfilled don’t hold back – to each their own right? If you don’t let them know you didn’t climax, they’ll assume you did and nothing will change. Don’t feel bad or be embarrassed about asking for what you need to make the experience pleasurable for you. At the end of the day, having sexual relations should be enjoyable, so make sure you’re enjoying it!
- Ask HER what feels good for HER
In an ideal world, you could have a one go-to method to make every girl you’ve ever been with have an orgasm, however, that’s not how it works. Every girl is different and every girl likes to be touched and aroused in a particular way. In an interview with MBG, sexologist and sex coach Gigi Engle stated, “Every single body is different and wants different things. Intimacy is built on learning your partner’s turn-ons and their preferred methods of stimulation.”
That being said, don’t be afraid to ask them what they like, but more importantly, listen to what they tell you. If, after that, you still need a hand, ask them for guidance! Nothing turns a girl on more than knowing you are as preoccupied with their pleasure as you are with yours.
- Stimulate her mind
While most guys get turned on from physical touch, females are more likely to get turned on from their brain. According to Jenni Skyler, a certified sex therapist and sexologist, in a piece for Adam & Eve magazine, “Female orgasms are closely tied to mental and relational factors,” In order to climax, many women need to be in the right mindset and with a person who makes them feel safe and comfortable. Talk her through it, say what’s on your mind in the moment, and be open with communication.
- Foreplay
Don’t rush into it, take your time kissing, touching, talking and exploring her body and her mind. During foreplay, learn where and how she likes to be stimulated and make sure to allow the arousal to build up.
- Toys are your friends, not your enemies
Don’t be afraid to add vibrators to the mix. The female orgasm is all about the clitoris, and vibrations will help speed up the process while giving more intense, and even multiple, orgasms.
- Remember that it’s not an orgasm, it’s an OURgasm.
Even though the goal of having sex is not to orgasm, but to create a bond, it’s always nice to climax, so always remember to give your partner the same amount of pleasure you’re receiving, if not more.
- Aftercare
Aftercare is an essential part of sexual relations but is often overlooked. There are different ways to show affection after sex. Some people like talking, some like doing something together like eating or playing video games, while others like cuddling. Talk with your partner about their preferred way of aftercare and show them appreciation through little acts of affection.