By Sarah El Husseini | Staff Writer
We’ve all seen people put pronouns next to their names on different social media platforms, and it’s definitely not to undermine anyone’s second grade level intelligence. They are simply there to indicate what pronouns one prefers to be used when speaking to them.
The idea of preferred pronouns is not new and has been historically debated, seeing as some deem it ‘unnecessary’: a born female is referred to as ‘she’ while a born male is referred to as ‘he’. However, with the tremendous discourse regarding gender identity, gender is no longer limited to only ‘male’ and ‘female’ – it now includes non-binary, transgender, gender non-conforming people, and more.
Seeing that our idea of gender has evolved, it comes as no surprise that our language ought to be updated as well. We use pronouns excessively both in verbal and written communication, and it is therefore necessary to make sure these pronouns are appropriate in terms of the needs and identity of gender non-conforming people. This is where gender-neutral pronouns come into play: these pronouns don’t assume one’s gender and can be used to refer to almost anyone. Aside from the most commonly used pronouns ‘He/him’ and ‘She/her’, there are a lot of gender-neutral pronouns – certainly too many to list in this article. These pronouns include ‘They/them’ (yes, these pronouns can be used for singular), ‘Ze/Zir’, ‘Xe,Xem’, ‘Sie/Hir’. Individuals identifying as trans or binary may create new pronouns to feel more comfortable.
It’s definitely easy to know someone’s preferred pronouns when it comes right after their twitter or Instagram username, but not so easy to figure it out in real life. Therefore, when you are introduced to someone, it is always best to ask. Moreover, it is important to refrain from making assumptions about an individual’s pronouns based on their appearance and simply ask them – this is a way to show basic respect to their gender identity. If you’re not comfortable asking, you can resort to waiting for someone to address them and then use those pronouns. This way you can make sure no one feels insulted, invalidated or disrespected. It’s okay if you misuse someone’s pronouns as long as you acknowledge your mistake and correct yourself.
Keep in mind that the purpose behind ‘preferred’ pronouns is to correctly identify and respect others’ gender identity, and it is definitely one of the most basic and significant ways to validate people who go beyond the binary. Therefore, we ought to advocate and embrace the correct and proper use of these pronouns in order to make sure everyone is included, respected and seen.