By Mohamad Wehbe
The oldest recorded reference to a love letter goes back to Indian mythology around 5000 years ago; Mentioned in the Bhagavata Purana, a revered text in Hinduism, a letter by princess Rukmini to king Krishna. According to the story, Rukmini was deeply in love with Krishna and wanted to marry him, but her brother wanted her to marry someone else. Rukmini then wrote a letter to Krishna expressing her love and asking him to come and rescue her from the forced marriage.
From ancient myths and legends to modern love stories, love has been a constant theme throughout human history, a force that has the power to inspire, heal and transform. But what exactly is love, and how does it manifest in our lives? Is it just a feeling or something more complex and nuanced? In recent years, scientists and scholars from a variety of disciplines have explored the concept of love, seeking to unravel its mysteries and understand its neurological and psychological basis. At the same time, cultural factors such as gender roles, societal expectations, and historical contexts have also shaped how we express and experience love.
The science of love
Many have experienced the rush of falling in love for the first time or the deep feelings of love for their family and friends. From a biological perspective, it is often said that the brain of someone in love is like that of someone on cocaine, and there is some truth to this claim. Both falling in love and taking cocaine can activate the brain’s reward centers, specifically the ventral tegmental area. This area is responsible for reward processing and is considered the “motivation hub” for the brain. The activation of this area happens when one eats sweets, quenches their thirst, or takes drugs of abuse. Activation releases the “feel good” neurotransmitter dopamine teaching your brain to repeat behaviors in anticipation of the same initial reward. This increased activity of the brain not only makes love feel euphoric but also draws one to their partner at the start. Studies have also shown that love can cause a decrease in activity in the prefrontal cortex of the brain, which is a region that allows individuals to engage in critical thinking, rational behavior, and self-awareness. Therefore, the phrase “love is blind” does hold some truth to it. When relationships develop, one often feels relaxed and attached to their partner, and that is mainly because of two important hormones: oxytocin and vasopressin. Oxytocin has been shown to play a role as a “bonding” hormone which helps us reinforce positive feelings towards people we already love, making us more attached to our family, friends, and significant others.
Despite making significant strides in understanding what love is, there are still many mysteries that remain elusive to science. Questions like: what causes romantic love in the first place? Can love be measured objectively? Why do certain people fall in love? And what role does culture play in shaping love?
How does culture shape our understanding of love?
Science is not enough to fully define or understand love as it is more than just the complex interplay of hormones. To answer questions on how certain people fall in love and how culture plays a crucial role in shaping this love, social scientists have studied how this universal emotion was experienced by people in various historical eras and different cultures, and how it manifested itself in different ways. Drawing historical comparisons on how love was viewed and defined in different contexts, such as in China and Europe, can help us better understand the impact culture can have on our current ideas of love.
During early Chinese history, ancient Chinese texts considered love and sexual pleasure as one of the “great joys of life.” Later, (around 1000 years ago), this changed as Chinese attitudes towards love became more repressive especially when it came to the expression of sexuality. Displays of love and sexual acts outside of marriage were heavily restricted, and the man was often assumed to be biologically-destined to seek satisfaction from women. In 1949, in the People’s Republic of China, love did not appear to play a major role in the life of a young Chinese man, where denial of romantic love often affirmed the importance of the “collective” over the “individual.” In the 1990s, things have come back full circle as there has been a rapid shift in the attitudes toward love and sexuality, which is mainly attributed to globalization and the internationalization of cinema.
In Europe, on the other hand, Christianity seemed to have a major influence on the understanding of love. In 12th century Europe, love was viewed as self-sacrificing and unselfish, implying a compassionate and benevolent relationship where love and friendship were closely related. At the end of the 12th century spanning until the 14th century, literature started to become more concerned with the idea of romantic love, and, slowly, a substantial change started to occur where the phenomenon of “courtly love.” Courtly love was seen as devotional with the courtly worship and idealization of a woman. Later, in the age of Shakespeare (16th-17th centuries), love was often described as a “strong, consuming, and powerful force that is impossible to resist.” Finally, during the Victorian era (19th century), love took a more spiritual nature where it was considered to be something “delicate.”
Love has been perceived and approached in diverse ways throughout history, varying across cultures, religions, literature, and politics. As a result, the interpretations of love and attitudes towards it have evolved significantly, impacting how people comprehend and experience love over time.
How do we currently experience Love?
A lot of our current expression of love and how we view it as individuals stem from the Western invention of “romantic love.” Some scholars believe that the idealization of love is a Western phenomenon where this concept of romantic love does not seem to exist in cultures like Japan or China. However, this does not seem to be the complete truth, as recent studies have shown that romantic or passionate love is a universal phenomenon, with some evolutionary psychologists suggesting that love may even be innate in human nature. A recent study published in nature in 2023 provided evidence love is a “near” universal human experience, but the level of modernization through education, urbanization, and industrialization may influence the way we express it. Although correlational, this study hypothesizes that cultural changes in a country’s level of modernization may influence the way one may experience intimacy or commitment.
Love and gender roles
Finally, it is important to touch on how societal expectations through patriarchal and gender ideals influence how different individuals express love. Gender roles often limit the way individuals express love, where men and women are often split into a binary of specific societal roles they should fill in the relationship. For example, men are often expected to show their love through acts of protection and provision, while women are expected to show their love through acts of caregiving and emotional support. These traditional expressions of love should be challenged. Individuals should be encouraged to express their love in ways that feel authentic to whom they are rather than conforming to gendered expectations. Similarly to gender, the expression of love is also diverse and fluid. These non-traditional expressions of love should be celebrated because only through them we are truly able to express and be ourselves around our loved ones. As we continue to recognize and celebrate diverse expressions of gender and sexuality, we can create a space where we can be ourselves, free from the constraints of traditional gendered expectations of love.
Conclusion
Love is a complex and unique human experience that has been studied for centuries. While science has made significant strides in unraveling the biological and neurological basis of love, cultural and historical factors, as well as modernization continue to shape our understanding and expression of it. As the feeling of love and expression continues to be studied, keeping a sense of openness and acceptance of the different forms it may take is important. Ultimately, love remains a deeply personal and subjective experience, defying easy categorization or explanation.